Indulgences

She heard she could get help at Wal-Mart
Telling The Greeter,
“I’m here to get my baby out of jail,”
“Monopoly, Row 31,” she was told,
There beside the Get Out Of Jail Free cards
Were copies of The Divine Comedy,
Get Out Of Hell Free cards,
Purgatory? No Problem debit cards,
A piece of the True Cross,

A man with a feather duster in his back pocket
Approached with bobbing angel halo,
Crooked cardboard wings and a gay voice,
Asking her if she needed help,
He looked amazingly like Jack Nicholson,
“Don’t forget your loved ones,” he chided,

A tonsured monk rushed up
Standing between them,
“Ma’am, maybe all you need is in hardware,
Perhaps a hammer and some nails?
If you need help, my name is Luther.”

She left the store happily carrying her
Environmentally friendly
Indulgences bag,
Secure in her beliefs,
Thanking God for Wal-Mart.