The Importance Of Having A Pope

The Pope represents the epitome of succession plans,
He knows all of the secrets,
Where all of the relics are hid,
All of the secret passageways
To Germany and beyond,
Under his red, wide-brimmed hat
Is the key given to St. Peter,
The one that unlocks every door
In the minds of mitered Cardinals,
Diocesan edicts come from his mouth in silken banners,
He dines with Saints at the tables of the Holy,
Long brass trumpets blast his presence,
Actors and actresses are granted audience
After close scrutiny of their true purpose,
He chooses only the best of Church histories
And ignores the rest,
White smoke announces his selection
Just as black smoke will announce his death,
He can walk in the valley and fear no evil,
His staff of many comforts him,
He sees and hears Cherubim and Seraphim
And his room is filled with smoke,
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow him
In the car behind the Popemobile
Because after all, a man is just a man.