When Uranus Is In Retrograde

When Uranus is in retrograde:
Tongues of pentacostal fire leap on the heads of priests
Who anoint and baptize with mustard seeds,
Voltaire pops out from under a manhole cover
Wielding an AK-47 and shouting the old adage:
“When the last priest is strangled with the guts
Of the last politician,” and then adds:
“In the backseat of the last automobile.”

When Uranus is in retrograde:
Startled Frenchmen stop cursing Americans
And fill gas tanks with wine
Shouting, “No more fossil fuel!”
And Charles Gusswelle has a face transplant
So he can become Hemingway
And walk the rues in Montmartre
Savoring the re-moveable feast.

There is a man who says that living in Louisiana
Is like living in a teakettle,
Another man says one man’s junk is another man’s gold,
Sartre says, "I am or I am not, I am where I am not,"
But I say when Uranus is in retrograde
You may not know your coon-ass from a hole in the ground.

Vive la difference!