A Model Citizen Of Sorts

He always wanted to be known as The Town Drunk,
In a little Kansas town,
East of Edna,
He found his niche,
After being kicked out of Johnson County,
Told not to come back by The Powers That Be,
But he had studied his new job well,
He would be like Otis on Andy Griffith,
Let himself into the cell on Saturday night,

As a teenager he had understudied with
Louie The Drunk and Homer The Bellringer,
He had lived in scroffy apartments above taverns,
He swept up after they closed the joint,
Drinking the dregs and getting paid off in sixpacks,
You could smell the alcohol oozing out of the pores of his skin,

When he first came to town they had no tavern,
So he went to the town meeting and told them,
“How can I be The Town Drunk if you don’t have a tavern?”
So they voted one in and he went to work.

Sleeping it off in the jail or the gutter,
He served his purpose well in the little town,
Elevating some folks to higher positions in society,
Becoming a role model for what the town kids shouldn’t become,
And the raison d’etre for the pastor’s Sunday sermon.