War Story-Veterans Day 2005

The way it worked was that you would ride shotgun in a truck to Saigon and get let out in the Cho Lon district which was notorious for its brothels and bars. You stayed overnight and then your buddy would pick you up at a prearranged time and place. Technically you were awol, but headcount was so lax at Cu Chi base camp that you could get away with it if you were back in time to stand up (if you were able) for morning reveille. So there I was, sitting in the My Lai Massacree bar with my friend from Cincinnati, Sob. Sob was his nickname, mine was Guru. So me and Sob are sitting across from two chippys whose names were, no kidding, Rain and Snow. We bought them the perfunctory Saigon Tea, while we had something stronger and we discussed the possibility of renting a room and their companionship for the night. Companionship. Snow told me that she was a hippy. I told her that hippies could only be found in San Francisco. She got mad and said she new about Haight-Ashbury and everything. I said ok, where is your hippy love beads. She said something to Rain and Rain pulls out a headband and puts it on her head. This must have been some sort of chippy sign because just then two Vietnamese soldiers moved from the far end of the bar to the end closest to our table. Rain is keeping Sob busy so he doesn’t notice so I look at Snow and ask her who the two soldiers are. The one on the end, she tells me, is her brother. Then she tells me that he is VC. Sob takes note of this and tells Rain and Snow that we want to check out our hotel rooms. Just then a little kid runs in yelling, MP! MP! This meant the MP’s were coming to look for awol GI’s. The boy-son grabs my hand and says GI you come with me, hide from MP. I look at Sob. He looks at Rain. Rain looks at Snow. Snow gives her brother the high sign. The brother and his friend go to the door of the bar as lookouts. We run upstairs and Snow moves a big china cabinet away from the wall, revealing a three foot diameter hole. Get in there she says, I look at Sob and he shrugs. I look at Snow and Rain who have this serious look on their face so I believe them and go through the hole, finding myself in between two walls that are about two feet apart. Sob comes through behind me and Snow peaks her head in and says its just like Alice in Wonderland. I told her I wanted a refund. No way GI she says and laughs and the china cabinet slides back into place leaving me and Sob in total darkness. Outside we can hear the MP’s talking to Snow and Rain. They play dumb and the brother soldier VC talks to the MPs and convinces them that there is no one here. The VC brother leans against the china cabinet. The MPs leave. Me and Sob wait. And wait. Finally I get antsy and grope my way to the hole. Putting my hands flat on the back of the china cabinet I slide it out slowly. I move it enough to peer out. I see nobody. No Snow. No Rain. No VC. No MP. Sob and I find our rooms and crash for the night. In the morning we get up and meet our ride back to Cu Chi.

The downtown chippies know your weight to the ounce,
And the harder you fall, the higher you bounce.
-- Robert Hunter