Class Reunion

It was the Class of ‘69
Such an appropriate year
He pulled out his red varsity blazer
Splashed on a whole bottle of
English Leather
Combed his hair over to cover his bald spot
Rented a Corvette for the night
Bought a jug of good Scotch
A bottle of Viagra just in case
Practiced his best Jack Nicholson impression
Sang “Wild Thang” a few times
In case there was karaoke,
Did a few Michael Jackson spins
Borrowed some golf clubs,
I’m a 7 handicap he would say
But not actually play
Wife couldn’t come he’d tell them
That’s why I divorced her
Then launch into Tammy’s song,
He saw her standing there
Just like she was seventeen
Nonchalantly quoting every song
That everybody knew
How cool she is he thought
As she flipped him off
Turned and walked away.