Shaking in Las Vegas

Pure mayhem on The Strip
With the pavement at 130 degrees
But, no sweat, you can get what you want
Even if it ain’t what you need
Elvis left the building all right
He hit the road, Jack
Ain’t comin’ back no more, no more
All of a sudden here comes a guy
All dressed up just like the Union Jack
But there’s no cloud for him to get off
Just heat, pure heat
A hundred and thirty in the shade
Sippin’ on a mango marmalade
Tryin’ to be cool
You know Elvis, he ain’t no fool
He just wanted to know where Joe was
But Joe’s not around, his bags are down
So Joe ain’t feelin’ too cool
The deal is, you can work in the heat
Or you can go broke
At the Bellagio, Mandalay Bay, Planet Hollywood
All of them casinos will be glad to make you broke
Unless you respect them
R-E-S-P-E-C-T, just a little bit
Hey baby, put your money down
On the Don’t Pass line
Put your money down
On the Roulette Wheel
Put your money down
On the Craps Table, Little Joe the hard way
This is what built Las Vegas baby
The Meadows where water surfaced in the desert
An oasis, a wadi now dried up and gone
And in its place a concrete and neon flower in the desert
A place where people leave their issues at home
But create new ones to take back with them
Broke down, busted, disgusted
Nobody can be trusted
Oh for the days of Bobby Darin and Mack the Knife
Oh for the days of Sammy and Dean and Joey and Peter and Frank
Luck be a lady tonight
But don’t be blowin’ on another man’s dice
You can crap out any time here
It’s just a short walk from the penthouse to the outhouse
Where Jimmy the Greek was electrocuted by the Mob
The Mob who blew up The Sands, The El Rancho,
The Desert Inn where Howard Hughes became
The epitome of the permanent Las Vegan
Demented, broke in every way
Watching horse operas over and over again
Swatting flys and thinking of ways to blow up the Hoover Dam
But every time the terrorists blow up The Strip
It just comes back bigger and with a vengeance
Unwilling to give up its money or its fame
A place where men are mauled by lions
Where people willingly subject themselves to Wayne Newton
Where plebes consult the oracle before going to Caesar’s Palace
Then get sacrificed on the altar of the Deck of 51
Where women can be delivered to your door in twenty minutes
Where seven is the number and zero is the answer
Where jackpots are won at the expense of the gamblers
Where the ones who get “comped” are the biggest losers
Where fools rush in and angels fear to tread
Where are the wise men of Las Vegas who know all the odds
Odds Bodkins, man, where are they?